Secret Bonus Level presents:
First, I always like to tell you how to hear this thing. Here it is:
When I say a lot of rappers came tonight, I mean EVERYBODY came tonight. And I knew this would happen. Every one million and eight episodes, a strange cosmic alignment begets an unusual outpouring of rappers upon this magical city of Secret Bonus Level. This is a natural phenomena, but not only that: it was predicable. It was on our calendar. The thing is that it crept up on me. Stretching out our 1 millionth episode into so many parts made me lose track.
We’ve never unlocked so many secret characters in one play through before. And this was a special one.
Who all came? Of course, some old friends like Lithium God, Sanji, NOAH PAGE. Lithium was on point again tonight, same level as last week. It just occurred to me that he’s the god of those batteries. Next level batteries. Do you know what I’m talking about? Maybe that’s why. I’ll have to ask him. Somebody ask @lithiumgod about the science between how his rap abilities power all these batteries, please. Lithium God also did a fun, special rap song to “Lithium” by Nirvana, and he even made up his own new chorus, which was pretty entertaining. Sanji was only there for a second. I told him I liked his ripped up hoody. It was cool. It added to the effect that he’s some kind of a monster. And he proved his monstrosity to the 50 million other rappers who showed up tonight with a quick verse JUST TO SHOW THEM and then stepped aside to let these newcomers shine.
And did they.
First, the dude Dogfuq, who we’ve wanted to have on for a while. This guy has a particular style that is pretty unique. He did a Can You Rap to That, did a couple neat verses. We like this guy. And I’d totally wear that color nail polish. Robin’s Egg Blue. Get outta here! Fashion, you guys. Dogfuq also brought this dude Heja Rames, who saaaaaaaaAAAAAANNGG a Can You Rap to That? Singing is happening more and more lately. It’s such an unexpected yet somehow natural progression for Secret Bonus Level.
I don’t know when/if I’m ever allowed to say fogDuck/Dogfriend/Dogfuq’s real name. Just in case you can’t figure it out and REALLY want to look up his music, TRY CLICKING HERE!
Speaking of Can You Rap to That? Johnson did one for the ages to “I Will Always Love You.” I’ve wanted someone to do that one for a while now. I even named the file “USE THIS ONE.” And we never get to hear Johnson rap usually because, obviously, he’s in the band. He’s a man of many talents though. And he’s had plenty of chances to observe Can You Rap to That? So he’s sneakily been devising his strategy for it, I suspect. He played it smart, with a tactic we’ve really seen pay off: JUST RAP OVER IT. Haha, I mean, right? You don’t have to take it super seriously or anything. Just keep going. Johnson’s got that down.
Also, Noah Page answered a call to battle during Can You Rap to That? He had a specific challenge thrown down. The original Nokia ring tone. GOSH. I guess I’ll just let you hear it though. You decide what you think! And Vos did an ESPECIALLY nice verse over some Zelda on Can You Rap to That? too. Vos never ceases to impress. He’s taken to hosting the show like a duck in the fog (fogDuck, get it? idk). Like Johnson, he’s really started to use strategy to dominate in our special game of rapping to random things.
Hey, guys. Should I always put that question mark at the end of Can You Rap To That? Tell me in the comments! LOLOLOLOLOLOL. Anyway, GOSH this is hard to recap. So many really talented people came by. I’m just trying to put all their names in here but I keep getting caught up in trying to tell you how awesome they were. LET ME JUST TELL YOU WHO THEY WERE, first, PLEASE.
Now, these guys from Raw Most Records. I don’t know where these guys came from. Mars? Mars. Raw Most Records talked to Johnson, from The Secret Bonus Level Band. Next thing I knew OG Keesh, Jon Swaii, and Uptown Rico were all ringing the buzzer. Each with his own individual style. All smooth, but in such different ways. Just from looking at them, you can tell each comes from his own world and niche subgenre of rap. I am under the impression, in fact, that tonight was the first time they’d made music together. And it was special. There are a lot of good crews in Richmond right now. AGM, Mutant Academy, Witch Mountain, TNJC, Gritty City. I was surprised I hadn’t stumbled over these Raw Most guys sooner, to be honest. Good rappers are exciting enough. An entire crew of talented artists is another story. That’s something you want to watch. Invest time in. Get interested. If anyone hears anything about Raw Most, performances, album releases, press, whatever, I need you to TELL ME. So that I can tell EVERYONE ELSE. I’m about to make an extended hamburger metaphor, and these guys are too sick to be included in that. Sick as in ill. Sick as in “my tummy hurts.” Sick as in don’t eat it. And not just because it’s Raw. LOL, I just stumbled into that one. Raw Most. Burgers. ANYWAY!
Lithium God invited PHD Khari, who also brought Rod or Die, Dula, and Brianna Dunlap. A whole other crew of guys, pretty much. Khari, Lithium God, and Vos are all performing at Face Melt in a couple Fridays, by the way. If you heard tonight’s show, you now know that you MUST go. It’ll be your chance to get a LITTLE bit closer to the magic of this evening. If you like MAGIC, I guess. Otherwise I’ll just put this rabbit back in my hat.
PHD Khari was his own thing, it felt like. A force unto himself. He swept through and uprooted the trees that we don’t talk about on Secret Bonus Level because they don’t grow in the radio station and YES YOU KNOW WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT. Anyway, this guy is about to be the WIND. So if you think it’s September now, and you reach for that light jacket, just wait. He’s cool. And I don’t mean that Khari didn’t gel with the rest of the vibe too. He brought his own special thing to the mix. He was just on some other tihs. He was like the hot sauce on the burger.
Yeah, let me talk about burgers for a second here. Delicious burgers are not unlike our best episodes. A big, juicy, fatty, hot burger is one of the most magnificent things in creation. Rod or Die, Dula and Brianna had some real burger-type chemistry going. I’m talking about when you have PREMIUM ground beef, lettuce tomato, onion, EXTRA pickles and mustard. They were that special blend of flavors. That wonderful sandwich. You guys who know me, you know what a compliment that is. How I feel about sandwiches. There was this one very special moment about an hour into the show where Rod or Die and Dula were passing the microphone over a softer jam by the band and Brianna started singing. I really don’t think she even planned to come and sing! It didn’t seem that way when we met her at least. But this moment went on then for like, I want to say 10 minutes. These guys taking turns. And SUCH verses. Dula and Rod or Die are both newer to rap in Richmond, so you’d better start following them now before you miss anything. If what we saw tonight was any indication, and if you like just GOOD music, you need to be paying attention to these guys.
Gosh, I’ve trying to hold back going TOO bananas about how good all of these guys were as I’m typing this. But my caps lock key is ITCHING. This episode just hit perfectly. I don’t need to tell you at this point that the band is incredible. The Secret Bonus Level Band, that is. Did they even need bongos? Because now they have bongos. And ALL OF THESE RAPPERS tonight. It was ridiculous. I have to apologize to Dula, Rod or Die, and Heja Rames specifically, because we CONSTANTLY forgot who was who. And I mean, it was DIFFICULT. There were a total of 15 rappers on tonight’s show and half of them we’d never met before. This was our most crowded show by FAR up until now. Plus, we had like 2 minutes to meet all these guys before the show started. I am sorry, you guys. I really am! Especially when the way these three SPECIFICALLY performed SO WELL on our show really MADE the evening, no joke, it’s a real travesty that I should so insulting forget their aptly chosen monikers. The whole night is kind of a blur to me, honestly. But I’ve already said a lot about how great Dula and Rod were.
Heja Rames, for the record. Have I mentioned this guy enough? Maybe I don’t know how to? I barely know anything about him. He stepped out of the shadows like Batman tonight. And snapped a bat-a-rang right into our hearts. So now we’re straight DEAD from this guy. I think we all plan to FIND OUT after tonight though, am I right? IF WE CAN. Does he live in the shadows? And like so many of these guys from this past week, it’s crazy to try and talk about them. We saw him do so much, but interacted so little. And they say that you remember how people made you feel more than you remember what they actually say or do, right? That’s like one of those self-help book affirmation learn to live with other humans kinds of advice statements that you might find on a paper coffee cup with a $5 coffee beverage in it. Well, ANYWAY, Heja Rames made up feel like we need to watch out for him. Throwing bat-a-rangs at us with this music. Am I being stupid? Is that even a question anymore? Heja Rames did was awesome things on the microphone. There! I said it concisely and effectively.
This show was so amazing I forgot to even make my announcement about the Secret Bonus Level album. I guess next week, guys.
Dula, Rod, Heja, Dogfuq, Brianna, Khari, Rico, Keesh, and Jon – COME BACK and see us again! Please, jesus, we loved all you dudes.
NoahPage 216 September 7th, 2017